I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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