Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
