dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
