I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
