how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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