I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
