WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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