I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
