After last night, I could never be a politician.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
