i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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