You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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