not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
