How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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