I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
