i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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