Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
