so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
