I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
