Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
