I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
