Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
