Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
