lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
