Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
