His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
