their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
