Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
