WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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