I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he had hair everywhere except his balls
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize