3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
