I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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