we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
