So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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