I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
