ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
