i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
