I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
