DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
