Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
