Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
vagina is talking i cant
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
