I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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