Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
