Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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