did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Quick, to the slutcave!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
