Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
