I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
