remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
