i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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