i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
