we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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