the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
